For Guys

Guys… there’s no substitute for you.

Perhaps you are wondering if she is even carrying your baby. Maybe friends and family are encouraging you to push her to have an abortion. Whatever your situation, you are not alone. Lots of couples experience a “surprise” pregnancy and immediately worry about how this will affect their future.

Abortion seems like an easy and legal choice but it does have significant risks of which you may not be aware. Having a baby doesn’t mean the end of your dreams.

She Needs your Help

It’s hard to realize that women can choose abortion without the permission of the baby’s father. Many women who have had abortions report that they were waiting for their boyfriends/husbands to stop them. Some even say that they sat on the table hoping the father of their baby would “rush through the door to rescue me and take me away somewhere safe”.

She needs your friendship and your strength now more than ever.

She’s Looking to you to Stand Beside Her

The world says that abortion is “a woman’s choice” but the woman in an unexpected pregnancy rarely wants to make that choice alone. She is looking to you for support because she can’t confide in many people about this crisis situation.

When women hear men say, “Don’t look at me to tell you what to do,” they automatically believe the man wants the abortion. Be careful that you don’t say something that you could regret. Assure her that you will stand beside her in whatever way she needs through this difficult time. Inform her immediately that she doesn’t need to have an abortion to please you.

Clear your mind and listen to what she is saying. Try to understand her feelings. Gather information about options available to her. Talk to family and friends you trust for support. Daybreak’s 24/7 Helpline is available for you. Give us a call at 1-866-9-OPTION. We are here for you to provide caring, free, and confidential help for you and your partner and to help both of you come to an informed decision. To help her understand your support, go with her for the pregnancy testing appointment. She has more to lose in this pregnancy than you do because it will affect her physically.  If she truly is pregnant, then she is already being overwhelmed by hormone changes that can have a great effect on her. Having your support will reassure her that you care.

You may not realize this but abortion has many risks to the woman- emotional, psychological and physical. While you may not experience the abortion physically, abortion can affect you as well. If you care about this woman in your life, you will want to protect her from harm.

Here are some Do’s and Don’ts to help you through this:

Don’ts:

• Don’t assume that she wants to be pregnant and carry to term.
• Don’t assume that she wants to abort the pregnancy.
• Don’t assume abortion is the “easy way out.”
• Don’t assume that she is not considering adoption.
• Don’t assume that she was trying to get pregnant on purpose.

Do’s:

• Do make her health your top priority.
• Do take her someplace to see a health professional.
• Do encourage her to get an ultrasound
• Do talk openly and honestly about all the options: parenting, abortion, and adoption.
• Do help and stay involved if she does decide to parent.

Remember the decision is ultimately hers to make. You should be able to express your opinion but you should never force her into a decision.

Daybreak is here for you. too!  We will provide your partner with excellent advice and medical care but we are also here to give you crucial information and guidance through this very difficult and confusing time.

Men, it’s time to stand up and take part in your pregnant partner’s life. She needs to know that you care and you are ready to walk through this with her.

• If she decides to parent, be “man enough” to be a dad.
• If she decides to allow someone to adopt the baby, be “man enough” to assist her to choose a great family.
• If she is considering abortion, be “man enough” to get her accurate and caring counsel.

Men, remember that it took you to help create this pregnancy, so stand up and help create a wonderful outcome.